What Does It Mean to Be on the Spectrum?

Explaining Autism to Neurotypical Children

When I was an ABA therapist, I vividly remember a conversation I had with a mother of two twin five-year-old boys about her experiences taking them out in a public place somewhere, such as the grocery store. Both boys had autism, and she would often come home from running simple, everyday errands with a feeling of defeat and embarrassment. She would hear comments such as “Get your children under control” or “I would never let my child act like that.” Eventually, she started to dress them in shirts that said, “I have autism.”  She explained that she felt like those shirts explicitly let others know that her sons had a disability. After this, the concerning looks she would get from others when they would be out and the boys would tantrum or head bang started to turn into treating her with more acceptance and empathy. By proactively communicating to the strangers around her that her sons had autism, it helped to create a more inclusive and safe space for her, as a mother.

For those who do not know about or understand what autism is, the behavior of children with autism can look odd, sporadic, unexpected, and even rude to others. Due to this, individuals with autism are 60 percent more likely to be bullied as compared to their non-disabled peers. Even adults can have a difficult time not knowing the best way to interact or communicate with those on the spectrum. 

So how can we best explain autism to our neurotypical children while helping to create an environment of inclusion and tolerance?

Start the Conversation

Although the diagnosis of autism is increasing significantly, many individuals may not be aware or educated about autism. Explaining the different types of behaviors that children may display who are on the spectrum can be insightful for others. For instance, discussing with a neurotypical child that children with autism may not look them in the eye when having a conversation or respond when you say their name can help their peers be more understanding and accepting of this lack of social reciprocity. 

Being upfront, open, and honest about the diagnosis can help those around individuals with autism have more realistic expectations of what to expect. One mother, Lizabeth Cole, described autism to neurotypical children with the analogy of a gaming system. She explained that even though an Xbox and PlayStation are both game consoles, they still have different operating systems and controllers. This is much like neurotypical and autistic children. They are alike in many ways but may process information differently on the inside. The way I see things and the way someone with autism sees things are equally valid, just different.

Adult Responses are Important

As grownups, it is crucial that we model the behaviors that we want children around us to exhibit. If a child is struggling with communication or overstimulation in a situation, we can assertively address it in a manner that is empathic and tolerant. Handling the situation in real-time in a calm and thoughtful way can help create a culture of care for all those involved, as well as model how to react in future situations. Caregivers, parents, educators, and other adults are the best advocates for children with exceptionalities. 

Sesame Street has a great episode in which they introduce Julia, a character with autism. The adult in this video does a great job of responding to some of Julia’s behaviors and talking to her peers about what they can do to respond: 

Creating a Safe and Inclusive Place for All

We not only want children with autism to be treated with kindness, but we also want to make sure that neurotypical children feel safe in their own environment as well. Sometimes, when we cannot predict the behavior of those around us, it can bring on a sense of anxiety and stress. Developing a plan for all children to feel safe and advocate for themselves is a great, proactive way to manage some of these big emotions. This could include things like a safe and quiet place to go to when feeling overwhelmed or talking with a trusted adult. It is essential to teach neurotypical and autistic children how to be assertive and communicate their needs in a way that does not harm others. For younger children, books can also be especially helpful in explaining autism and things to expect. Here are some helpful books on autism for children to learn more about it:

I See Things Differently: A First Look at Autism by Pat Thomas

Why Does Izzy Cover Her Ears? Dealing with Sensory Overload by Jennifer Veenendall

Make use of Resources and Seek Out Help When Needed

There are so many wonderful resources out there to help support parents, caregivers, and educators working with children on the spectrum. Whether it be a blog or a community support group, seek out those opportunities to connect with others around you. 

There are also many professionals out there who can help, such as therapists, resource teachers, and social workers. Finally, if you are still struggling with what to say, here are some tips to help you get started with introducing autism to those around you. 

• It is helpful to remember that those with autism may not think or feel the same way that you and your friends do. This is not because they do not care, but it is because they may not understand emotions the same way you do.

• Sometimes, autistic people experience sounds more loudly or sights more brightly. This can cause them to feel overwhelmed, and they may need to use things like headphones or sunglasses to help them cope with the environment around them.

• Children with autism have various levels of communication. Some can have a conversation with you and others cannot speak. They may also repeat what you say. If you are struggling to talk with someone who has autism, you can always ask an adult for help. 

• Even though children with autism may think or act differently, we can still find ways to include them in activities. Find things that you have in common with them or even just invite them to sit next to you at lunch. These are simple and easy ways to help them feel included.

Sometimes the best way to advocate for autism is by educating those around us and starting conversations!

I’d love to hear your ideas and experiences about how best to explain autism to neurotypical children. Please share in the comments section below.

We hope you enjoyed the information in this article. STAGES® Learning also offers free downloadable resources to support teaching and learning with individuals with autism. Start with our free Picture Noun Cards and see our collection of other downloadable resources here!